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haggisI've been feeling very dissatisfied with my life recently. I'm trying to look for work but I keep avoiding it and doing anything else but. I do things that distract me but leave a little niggle in the back of my mind. Then when I'm at home and there's nothing I can do towards looking for a job, I either get depressed and angry with myself or I continue to distract myself with stupid things.
I want to sort it out. I need to be more disciplined about doing the things I need to do. If I did that, I would have space for the things I really want to do, not just the things that help me forget that I'm gradually running out of time and money.
I've decided to try fasting from some of the distracting things for a while. Giving them up for a time to try and break my silly addiction to these things that aren't really making me happy. The top three are watching TV, reading books and playing computer games. All good things in themselves, but they are the way I hide from myself. In particular, I find it hard to admit that there is such a concept as too much reading. But I know that I use it as an escape and once I start it's very hard to stop. Or possibly, very easy to keep going for 'just another five minutes'.
So what am I going to do instead? Hopefully I'll try to spend the time looking for a job. My mum suggested four hours a day, which seems reasonable but I've yet to do that much yet. Today I've probably done as much as I've done since I left uni. Then I want to try writing much more. This will possibly be on LJ but I don't always have computer access and when I log on to LJ I tend to spend hours checking my friendslist or community posts which is another big distraction.
I'm going to get a journal and try and write in it instead of watching TV etc. I used to write stories when I was younger but it's been ages since I've had the time to allow ideas to develop. Also I want to figure out where I'm going spiritually. This is something I've been ignoring for a long time but I need to start looking at this area of my life.
There are other tihngs. I want to visit the new Art museum in Manchester and check out some films at the CornerHouse and go swimming (if the Commonwealth Games doesn't get in the way!). There are so many things I want to do that I don't have time to do at the moment, but I know I need to be working on looking for jobs first.
I've tried doing this sort of thing in the past and being amazed at how much free time I have when I don't spend my life watching TV. I want to get out of living in my own head and into the real world.
(PS It has to be admitted that I will continue to watch certain TV programs. In particular I'm not going to stop watching ER or 6 feet under. But the principle is good.)
I want to sort it out. I need to be more disciplined about doing the things I need to do. If I did that, I would have space for the things I really want to do, not just the things that help me forget that I'm gradually running out of time and money.
I've decided to try fasting from some of the distracting things for a while. Giving them up for a time to try and break my silly addiction to these things that aren't really making me happy. The top three are watching TV, reading books and playing computer games. All good things in themselves, but they are the way I hide from myself. In particular, I find it hard to admit that there is such a concept as too much reading. But I know that I use it as an escape and once I start it's very hard to stop. Or possibly, very easy to keep going for 'just another five minutes'.
So what am I going to do instead? Hopefully I'll try to spend the time looking for a job. My mum suggested four hours a day, which seems reasonable but I've yet to do that much yet. Today I've probably done as much as I've done since I left uni. Then I want to try writing much more. This will possibly be on LJ but I don't always have computer access and when I log on to LJ I tend to spend hours checking my friendslist or community posts which is another big distraction.
I'm going to get a journal and try and write in it instead of watching TV etc. I used to write stories when I was younger but it's been ages since I've had the time to allow ideas to develop. Also I want to figure out where I'm going spiritually. This is something I've been ignoring for a long time but I need to start looking at this area of my life.
There are other tihngs. I want to visit the new Art museum in Manchester and check out some films at the CornerHouse and go swimming (if the Commonwealth Games doesn't get in the way!). There are so many things I want to do that I don't have time to do at the moment, but I know I need to be working on looking for jobs first.
I've tried doing this sort of thing in the past and being amazed at how much free time I have when I don't spend my life watching TV. I want to get out of living in my own head and into the real world.
(PS It has to be admitted that I will continue to watch certain TV programs. In particular I'm not going to stop watching ER or 6 feet under. But the principle is good.)
