haggis: (Default)
I haven't posted for a while. This is mainly cos not much is happening. I get over-stressed about coursework, coursework gets done, I stress about the next bit, etc etc. Two things which are particularly causing me to wibble are my project (have'nt done any work yet and it's a group thing, if I f**k it up, I f**k things up for them too) and finding a job (still don't know what I want to do, haven't applied any where or sorted my CV or any thing :( )

Hmm, good things to write about.

Bf :) :) Keeping me sane, reminding me there is more to life than bloody coursework.

The meal last night went well. I was worried about it, cos Daz is scared of my dad and the first time they met, they hardly spoke. Last night went well, the food was gorgeous and the conversation was good too. :)

Just learned a new trick on LJ, can you tell?

Other good things - my lab makes sense! Hurray! We've got our last day tomorrow and will try and get some sensible answers from the demonstrator whose favourite phrases are "no-one else has asked that!" and "I'm not supposed to tell you the answers". But it making at least a little sense is great progress!

I'm doing better than usual at understanding my lectures. Generally, I read them when I revise for the first time since the lecture ;)

I've cheered myself up again which is good :)!
haggis: (Default)
Got told off today for not posting ;) so here goes

Life is v busy atm. Lots of coursework, a big and scary lab in the pilot plant for the next three weeks and design project looming menacingly. However most of my time is being spent either online or playing Sims. I play for ages, telling myself i'll just read this/finish this/get her a promotion etc and suddenly realise its late and I should have done something else. This is getting me frustrated as I seem to have no willpower :(.

But there is good news. I'm getting on much better with my housemates. We were annoying each other a bit but that seems to have settled down. Bf has finished his project and so is much happier about life. Am still ridiculously happy with bf and it's now been well over a year :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :)

We're going down to Cambridge to see meet some of the spods IRL (scary!) It will also give me a chance to see Fiona, Tasha and Simon. *bounce bounce*. While we're in cambridge we are going to a masquerade ball. I'm a bit confused as to what to wear. Bf is dressing up and going as a jester, so I will probably wear my ball-dress and claim to be a queen!

That's about it for now. I will do a post about Beerfest when I have time but for now I gotta go work again.
haggis: (Default)
Lectures weere cancelled Thursday and Friday which kind of pissed me off cos I am soooo bored. I wrote a post going on about it, then lost it by accident. Grr

Friday night was so cool. Rag was running a casino for the Fresher's ball so we all got glammed up to be croupiers. I had such a cool time. I was chatting to people all night long, while I was playing (officially 'making the place seem popular') and while I was being the dealer for blackjack. I was so bouncy that I was scared to ask anyone about themselves in case they thought I was coming on to them. I wasn't but it felt weird. I haven't chatted anyone up for ages, since I was a fresher in fact.

Anyway I was on a complete high that night, despite getting really tired by the end. We had free passes to the ball but I went home after the casino. Bf was asleep and I crept around. He woke up which was cool cos I wanted to talk to him but didn't think it was fair to wake him up.

I missed him this week. I didn't see much of him cos he was working late so I was all soppy at him :)

We went shopping on Saturday with his mate Chris. We had a cool weekend and although I am technically v skint, I got some more books. It's like an addiction :) The only embarrassing thing was when Chris and bf came looking for me and found me in the gay and lesbian section. It didn't bother me much but I think it surprised Chris.

Trouble is whenever I do something like that, people always ask my bf what's going on, not me and he has to explain that I'm bi and he's cool with it and we're still going out. I worry that it's unfair on him but he keeps saying it's cool. He even says he doesn't mind if I want to experiment but I don't want anyone else. It's more, if we break up, I will be checking out the prospective girl and boyfriends ;)

Anyway lectures finally start tomorrow and they all look v complicated. I looked at the course descriptions and the most worrying on is my lectures on safety (I'm studying Chemical Engineering) One of the objectives is :

By the end of this course the student should have the proper fear of the plant (!)

I spent all last year trying to get less afraid of the plant (esp the operators who terrifed me until I realised they were really nice even though I was clueless.)

Now time for my beauty sleep
haggis: (Default)
Erm.

Not sure about what to write. I've written diaries and journals before but they've all been private and fairly personal.

But I like the idea and I want to use it to remember this year. I hope I have time for it when I get back to uni and have to do loads of work to do.

Last year had a lot of changes for me :- lost my faith in God which had always been a big thing for me, got back with my bf (who I adore and who got me through losing my faith), discovered sex and discovered that I was crap at my future career during a year out. I also discovered that I prefer studying to proper work (I'm not just being lazy, I really enjoy learning and studying not just the long lie-ins.)

I also found that my sexuality was not as straightforward as I had thought. I had always 'appreciated' women but was also attracted to men. This year I finally admitted this to myself. I have yet to take any action on this and probably won't. I love my bf deeply and don't want a polyamourous relations, so that rules out any practical experimentation (Shame *grin*)

Anyway, after a busy year, I'm just trying to figure life out.

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