haggis: (Celtic)
[personal profile] haggis
So, I have got myself wound up about the stupidest thing. We are almost at the point where D&I start trying to get me pregnant. I have wanted this for years. I have gradually done all the things I felt I wanted/needed to do first. Everything is lined up. And now I am so scared it won't work and I will not be able to conceive or conceive then miscarry and OMGOMGOMG. And there is all this advice saying don't tell until the 12 wk scan and that just feels impossible!

I can't do it, I can't keep quiet that long. I have a naturally low TMI threshold and this process is so fucking *weird* - the ova pops out of the follicle like a tiny terrorist, ready to grab the hormonal controls and yank hard on them.

So there will be LJ posts, hidden behind cut-tags and possibly a filter if I decide to hide away. But given the hormonal wossnames haven't even started yet and I am already freaking out, there will be me going argh, wtf.

(no subject)

Date: 2016-05-30 10:04 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kickthehobbit.livejournal.com
:D

Best of luck!

(no subject)

Date: 2016-05-31 11:46 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] haggis.livejournal.com
Thank you!

(no subject)

Date: 2016-05-31 05:46 am (UTC)
sfred: (Default)
From: [personal profile] sfred
Good luck! I have heard people who have miscarried before 12 weeks say they wish they had told people for various reasons, so swings/roundabouts.

(no subject)

Date: 2016-05-31 11:47 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] haggis.livejournal.com
Thank you. The comments here and on Twitter are making me feel happier about choosing to be more open about this sooner.

(no subject)

Date: 2016-05-31 09:32 am (UTC)
hollymath: drawing in black of owl wearing big red glasses.Words on its belly:"it's not about how you look, it's about how you see" (owl)
From: [personal profile] hollymath
I know it's no consolation, but this freaking out I entirely common and understandable and okay. That doesn't make it any more fun, unfortunately, but it also doesn't indicate you've failed at or neglected to do anything that you could/should have done about it.

I think the advice to wait is well-meaning, and good for those it's good for, but I can't see that working for you either. :) I'm glad you're planning to take advantage of the circles of people who care about you in the ways that best suit you.

(no subject)

Date: 2016-05-31 11:53 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] haggis.livejournal.com
Yeah, having had my stress-out and had nice comments, I am feeling a lot happier.

I think it is a weird mix of having to be really in control of some elements of the process (given my circs, pregnancy was always going to be deliberate and D is happy to leave the timing etc to me) and acknowledging some elements are completely out of my control. I suspect that particular mixture is going to be a theme of this whole business - from pre-conception until they leave home!

(no subject)

Date: 2016-05-31 12:23 pm (UTC)
ext_40378: (Default)
From: [identity profile] skibbley.livejournal.com
Hope it all goes quite wonderfully

(no subject)

Date: 2016-05-31 01:58 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] menthe-reglisse.livejournal.com
Current and future sympathy and encouragement! Glad you are feeling happier about being more open. Keeping my fingers crossed.

(no subject)

Date: 2016-05-31 05:31 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] magic-at-mungos.livejournal.com
It's where you feel comfortable. I know a lot of of people who told close friends & family before the 12 weeks. Others kept super quiet outside close circles until the birth.

My sister told our gran after 4 weeks as it was probably the last time we'd see her and it was early due to a previous ectopic pregnancy.

(no subject)

Date: 2016-05-31 10:14 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sanjibabes.livejournal.com
I wish you luck and a quiet place in the argh for you to come back to when you need to.

(no subject)

Date: 2016-06-01 03:17 pm (UTC)
ludy: a painting i did looking in a mirror (self)
From: [personal profile] ludy
All the best for Project SmallHaggis!

I'm going to self-filter a bit because as you know I love babies and can geek for hours about genealogy - but sometimes because of my own Stuff it can be triggery/upsetting. So if you don't hear/read from me on posts about this don't assume that I won't be interested in reading later. And of course i'm ongoingly wishing you well

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